did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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