It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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