"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
where am i from again
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
