Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
