So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
