got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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