dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
