K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
