Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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