Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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