the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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