And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
