There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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