Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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