Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
