i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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