Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
