It was confusing and full of hummus
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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