i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
