Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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