There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
