it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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