I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
