she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
