I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
