My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
handjob tips. give me some.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
