Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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