I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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