Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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