So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
