Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
