I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
