Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So much Jack, so little girl.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
