Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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