dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
