I am puke
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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