Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
