I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize