I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
