Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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