I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
