i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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