I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Congratulations! We have a period
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
