PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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