problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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