I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
