Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
