There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
