Sry I called you an 8
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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