I feel like I'm in dance class right now
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
