I'm so fucking centered right now
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
