what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
