I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
